Tuesday, April 22, 2008

What's wrong?

"What's wrong?" This is the question I think I have been asked the most today. And my response 9 times out of 10 has been a very tearful (and hard to understand) "I don't know."
It has been quite a hectic past 24 hours for our family. Jackson and I were both up all night last night. And when I say all night, it's not just me saying that to imply that we were up most of the time. Jackson slept from 11-2 and that was it. Mommy, on the other hand, did not sleep AT ALL. After a very hectic morning, lots of tears, and trips to both doctors (Mommy's and Jackson's), here's what we have come away with.
1) Mommy is making absolutely no progress in the giving birth department and little Luke is just going to hang on until I decide to make him join this world. This is really a blessing in disguise because there is no way I have the mental or physical energy to birth a child at this point.
2) Jackson has a nasty virus which has caused a raging ear infection and very yucky and painful throat.
I have never seen my child so helpless, so tired, in so much pain, and so desperate for his mommy to "make it better". I realized that my crying only caused his to be worse, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.
No sleep + 9 months pregnant + my helpless sick little angel = the most heart wrenching feeling ever.
We are doing much better now after a long nap, an assortment of medicine, and singing more rounds of Jesus Loves Me than I can count. All Jackson wanted during all of this was the song Jesus Loves Me. Whether it was playing it in the car over and over again or singing it to him, that was what brought him comfort. As my mom said, how precious and sweet, that at only 2 years old, he can already find comfort and peace in his Lord and Savior. I knew I had totally lost it when I was putting him down for a 'nap' after finally getting home from the doctor. After being up all night, crying, and some lovely hydrocodone, he was so tired he couldn't open his eyes. But he asked me to sing Jesus Loves Me all the same before I left the room. He lay there and mouthed some of the words along with me as tears were just streaming down my face.

When I finished, my sweet little boy said through closed eyes in his tiny little voice..."Good job, Mommy. Good job."

4 comments:

Katherine said...

Sounds like a rough couple of days. I hope the rest of today keeps getting better. I'm praying for ya'll.

Abby said...

Aww...I can only imagine what that must be like. Sick children alone can be so exhausting and heart-wrenching!!! I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. Hang in there. Little Luke will make it worthwhile in the end! I'll be thinking about you!

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry dear friend... how sweet that he clung to you and Jesus for comfort. Praying for this intense time.

deanna said...

I'm sending you TEXAS SIZED hugs!!!! I miss you SO much! You are ALWAYS in my prayers and I'm so glad to hear that "Jesus Loves Me" has provided you and Jackson some comfort during this very stressful time. Love you!!!